From Clueless to Celebrity and Back Again…

(Heather)

After our trip to the Xixi Wetlands on Saturday—which was beautiful if quite rainy and wet—I ventured out to find myself a bite to eat. I ended up at a nearby coffee bar/restaurant, primarily because I’d read a few good things about the locale online, and additionally because they had an English menu I could point to and frantically gesture at. Miraculously, what I had pointed to appeared before me, and I was quite content for awhile with my dinner and the free wifi provided. Then, I realized I’d been waiting for the bill. For awhile…for a long while. So, I made eye contact with the waiter, smiled, and tried to mime check or bill by drawing a square and signing my name in the air. Yup! I was excited and elated and confident I’d been successful in communicating my desire. The waiter walked away with purpose, and came back with…

Extra napkins.

So much for my pantomiming skills. In any case, I eventually realized that the free-wifi would provide the word for “pay the bill,” which I then attempted to say to the waiter in my mangled pinyin. This time, though, he understood my request, and brought me my check.

Clueless. Clueless Heather.

And yet, on the same night I’d crashed and burned as a mime, I was an instant superstar. You see, a bookstore quite close to the school has a nice English language section, and I decided to swing by to see if there was anything I wanted to buy/read. While browsing, I was accosted—in a nice way—by a group of locals who quickly gleaned that I’m American and, thus, speak English. An hour and a half and many, many questions about American life and the American education system later, I left the bookstore. Honestly, I felt like a celebrity—the locals hung on my every word, and repeated every idiom or expression I used with great seriousness and attentiveness. One couple also had me take a photo with their six year old son, who “loves basketball and all things American.”

Flash forward to Sunday.

Early Sunday, I got up and rode down to West Lake, in search of a nice cup of coffee or tea and a muffin. I had noted on my tourist map that there was a Starbucks close to where I was planning to park the bike, and so decided I’d go there (don’t judge…the language barrier is overwhelming, and, additionally, I know the quality of Starbucks will be reliable). After locking my bike, I proceeded to search for the Starbucks, ultimately walking in a giant (but very pretty and scenic) loop for twenty-five minutes in the wrong direction. The labeled maps in the park didn’t help—they’re all in Chinese. Finally, I gave up and walked back to the bicycle, only to discover…

The Starbucks was immediately adjacent to my bicycle, but on the other side of the archway I’d entered through. Clueless. Clueless Heather.

Yet, I was simultaneously celebrity Heather, as I was summarily pulled into two family photos while reading plaques on statues.

After breakfast (or, well, lunch by the time I FOUND the Starbucks), I cycled over to Hefang Street, which is one of the streets in Hangzhou’s single remaining historic district. The area is chock-a-block full of shops and souvenir stalls, some hawking cheap trinkets, and others selling incredibly high end merchandise, including Longjing tea, sandalwood fans, and lacy, loopy, brightly colored genuine silk parasols. Walking through, I spotted a charming clay tea pot that I wanted, and so “haggled” with the seller for it. Insert clueless Heather again, as I’m reasonably sure that despite getting the seller to lower the price by over 100 yuan, I still paid astronomically too much due to my inability to speak Chinese and my clear idiotic tourist status. I’m convincing myself I’m okay with having overpaid—after all, it’s like paying for a cultural experience on top of the actual item, right? Right? Oh, well. Lesson learned—I’ll start lower with price next time!